Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day

Well today is the international holiday of the ladies. Valentine's Day. I'm curious. What's the male equivelent. I mean come on, none of you are naive enough to think that Valentine's Day has anything to do with men do you? You do? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Have you been watching television over the last, I don't know, 50 YEARS? Every V-Day commercial is about something the man can buy, use, or give to a woman. What about us? What about the fellas? What is our day? Where's the commercial where you come home with a 8 hp, 3 speed, compound mitre saw? Or the one where we sit on our butts while you pander to our every whim with chips, gummi bears, burgers and beer? (or lemonade-for those of us who don't drink). Where the heck is our holiday? I'll tell you where. No where! We get Father's Day, you get Mother's Day. We get "bring your son to work day", you get "bring your daughter to work day" everything is reciprical except this. This one is all for you.
Where is the love for the men out there? Dad teaches the kid how to play football. Dad teaches the kid to knock the crap out of your opponent. Dad goes to every game. And dad brags to his buddies about how his son is the stud on the football team. Meanwhile, mom is trying to figure out a way to not let him play, and is always trying to get him to play something "safer". But when the kid makes it to the big time, what's he say? "Hi Mom" WHAT THE HECK? Where's the daddy love?
I'm usually hard on the fellas because I think we need to step our game up. I think as men, we are failing miserably, and it's evident in the weak, pathetic, undisciplined, disrespectful kids , and neglected, unappreciated, unhappy, and (dare I say) undersexed wives and girlfriends I see everyday. Kids that think they are entitled to have everything done for them. Mommies don't even say, "Wait til you father gets home" anymore, because Dad's a wimp, and let's Mommy make all the decisions. Women that never praise their men, they just bash them, because they don't give them anything to brag about.
Well step up fellas. Be men. Take charge. Get your house in order! Walk in the house, don't say a word, look your woman in the eye, throw her over your shoulder, take her to the bedroom, throw her on the bed and show her what a man is. And after you leave her laying in the afrterglow of long forgotten ecstasy, walk into the living room, put a foot in your kids butt. Lay down the law. Tell 'em there's a new sherriff in town. From now on Daddy makes the rules, and if things don't change, there will be hell to pay. Then, get a babysitter, put on a nice suit, (preferably purchased from me :-)) and take her to a nice restaurant. One with cloth napkins and reservations. Then take her dancing. For those of us who don't have kids, forget the kid part and do everything else.
If you do this. You will have a lot more male Valentine's Days. Who knows? Maybe some of those things you've been trying to get her to do, she'll finally do. Try it. What do you have to lose anyway? Until next time...

God Bless and dress well,
William the Clothier

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